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Let's just ignore the fact that I've been missing for almost a year. Well, not missing physically but yeah, missing from this.. place.

Many stuffs happened over the months that even I couldn't remember but one thing is for sure that, I've grown and mature. Well, sort of. At least physically.

I'm planning to maintain this look facial hair style for the rest of life. I mean, how many guys out there are able to roll up their mustache eh! Hahaha!

Used to have a pretty long hair at the back of head but decided that isn't my kind of style, though I'm still kinda tempted to grow it back. 

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Why do I always get drawn towards my past? Why do I feel guilty of the past though I was not responsible for it? Why do I feel incapable to move past of it? So many questions and so many thoughts. Then, it finally hit me. I finally came to understand it. How it would finally works for me. This feeling I feel isn't something that I can just remove or ignore. It's something that has to be substitute. It is like a space that can never be left void. A space that can never be vacuum. Leaving it void and vacuum would eventually transforms into a black hole, destroying everything in its path. Something that wouldn't be a pretty sight to see. The past has to be replaced with the present for me to move on to the future. Something that could just takeover the very spot my past resides. Well, it's easier said than done for someone who is anchored to the past. 

I can't remember the last time I posted here. It feels like it's been ages. So much has happened since the last entry. Life changing incidents to be specific. Anyway, I'm back on track as usual. Got a into and out of a job in the same month. Been working part time since last year though it's not really considered as working.

Bought some books from India. Awesome books I should point out. Shiva trilogy and Asura. Both related to Hindu mythology. Not gonna talk about the book here since that would be a spoiler but one thing for, it's makes you look at things differently and will totally spark your imagination.
  

Drive

Fast & Furious 6. Watched it today. Pretty awesome movie. Story line, action and most importantly, the cars and driving skill. Pahh! What a driving.. *sigh* Once I got into my car, my depression kicked in. Spend so much of money to maintain her but still she hates me. My car hates me.. *sigh* Owh well, I guess I'll just have to wait a couple of years more before I can actually save some bucks and get the car I want. Let's see how things go... I'll shall keep my finger crossed.

It's either this car..

Or this one..

God

The other day there was a little talk about religion among a small group of my classmates. One was explaining about Christianity to another two Hindus. Well, one of them is some kind of non believer, so yeah. So the preacher started of with Lucifer's introduction and moved on about who god really is and what's Christianity is all about. Well, he invited me into the discussion but I passed off the offer. It wasn't because I've got anything against the religion, it's just because.. I've already known everything I need to know about Christianity. =)

Frankly speaking, I'm not personally bound to any specific religion. I'm called a Hindu because I was born a Hindu and most certainly raised as one. Well, back in the good old days, I was a very pious and god-fearing child. My basic understanding of the religion was mostly gained through my parents guidance and sometimes, Tamil movies which involves god triumphing over the evil is the most gruesome way possible ( I guess the idea was to show that if you do bad, you die bad and ugly). As I grew older and a lil more mature, I begin to look/understand Hinduism in a more different perspective. I noticed it has multiple versions of the same religion. I guess it has been around for a very long time, long enough for it to have different version of it. One corner you have people worshipping Lord Krshna as the supreme Godhead while in another corner you have people worshipping Lord Shiva as the super soul or supreme god. Honestly, I really don't know who is who or what is what. There was one time, I really liked Lord Shiva. He seem to be very calm and at peace all the time and all of the mythology/history that accompanies Him sounds very interesting.

Then, during a visit to India, there was this Krshna temple in Bangalore called the ISKCON Temple. International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Frankly speaking, I've never seen a Hindu temple so clean, so beautiful and so peaceful anywhere before in my life! Lord Krshna looked so... beautiful and amazing at the same time.

They had this book where they sold in the temple which talked about Krshna and his philosophies. Most, in not all of the philosophies seems to be relateable to life. Well, my life. So, Lord Krshna became another god of choice. Each time I can relate myself to a certain god through His/Her myths or stories, I find that god appealing. In a way, I suppose that's how religion works. You stick to one religion where you can relate to or at least find peace in to help you move on with life. You just place your life's burden onto god and move one hoping for the best while you find extra courage to fix you problem. I guess that's what god is all about. But some people just don't get it and gets carried away and become fanatics. Well, I guess they just believe too much and you always can't blame them. We don't know what they have been through.

Then, what about spiritual enlightenment you may ask. That is beyond my understanding. One thing I've been coming across in Hindu myths is that each and everyone of us are somehow related to god. You know like how in the Bible its said that god made man in his own image? I guess if that's true, our ultimate goal is to find the god within and achieve spiritual enlightenment which is to be one with God. Then again, like I said. My understanding of spiritual enlightenment is beyond me. There are things and events in life you just can't explain. One of those things are god. It will always be a debated, sensitive and universal subject for all to try understand. It may look complicated but look beyond the complex and multiple version of religions out there, and you'll only see one thing. God is one and everywhere.  

Class time past

Sometimes but not always, when the class gets boring, my imagination runs wild. So wild that I start drawing comics and stuff on my notes. All this just to keep myself awake in class. Being tall in the class is a terrible disadvantage since you can't freaking sleep or hide. *sigh*

Bought the notebook to jot down notes but instead its filled with drawings..

Blog to Journal

Was cleaning the book rack the other day when I bumped into a lost treasure. My old brand new journal. I think I bought it like ages ago but miss placed it somehow (well knowing me, that's what I usually do) and I'm thinking that it would be a good time to start writing a journal or something since that was the plan many years back. Besides, my handwriting has gone beyond the point of recognisable handwriting. So, this journal would be doing me two favours. One, repair my already damaged handwriting so the examiners wouldn't crack their head trying to figure out whether I've written in English or Swahili. Two, try keeping me offline. Well not really, but at least something to keep me doing stuff old school.

Well that's about it. So maybe, just maybe, I'll might put up some snapshots of the journal once I get started with it. And some occasional drop by over here. After all, first blog dies hard. Or was it first love?