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Let's just ignore the fact that I've been missing for almost a year. Well, not missing physically but yeah, missing from this.. place.

Many stuffs happened over the months that even I couldn't remember but one thing is for sure that, I've grown and mature. Well, sort of. At least physically.

I'm planning to maintain this look facial hair style for the rest of life. I mean, how many guys out there are able to roll up their mustache eh! Hahaha!

Used to have a pretty long hair at the back of head but decided that isn't my kind of style, though I'm still kinda tempted to grow it back. 

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Why do I always get drawn towards my past? Why do I feel guilty of the past though I was not responsible for it? Why do I feel incapable to move past of it? So many questions and so many thoughts. Then, it finally hit me. I finally came to understand it. How it would finally works for me. This feeling I feel isn't something that I can just remove or ignore. It's something that has to be substitute. It is like a space that can never be left void. A space that can never be vacuum. Leaving it void and vacuum would eventually transforms into a black hole, destroying everything in its path. Something that wouldn't be a pretty sight to see. The past has to be replaced with the present for me to move on to the future. Something that could just takeover the very spot my past resides. Well, it's easier said than done for someone who is anchored to the past. 

I can't remember the last time I posted here. It feels like it's been ages. So much has happened since the last entry. Life changing incidents to be specific. Anyway, I'm back on track as usual. Got a into and out of a job in the same month. Been working part time since last year though it's not really considered as working.

Bought some books from India. Awesome books I should point out. Shiva trilogy and Asura. Both related to Hindu mythology. Not gonna talk about the book here since that would be a spoiler but one thing for, it's makes you look at things differently and will totally spark your imagination.
  

Drive

Fast & Furious 6. Watched it today. Pretty awesome movie. Story line, action and most importantly, the cars and driving skill. Pahh! What a driving.. *sigh* Once I got into my car, my depression kicked in. Spend so much of money to maintain her but still she hates me. My car hates me.. *sigh* Owh well, I guess I'll just have to wait a couple of years more before I can actually save some bucks and get the car I want. Let's see how things go... I'll shall keep my finger crossed.

It's either this car..

Or this one..

God

The other day there was a little talk about religion among a small group of my classmates. One was explaining about Christianity to another two Hindus. Well, one of them is some kind of non believer, so yeah. So the preacher started of with Lucifer's introduction and moved on about who god really is and what's Christianity is all about. Well, he invited me into the discussion but I passed off the offer. It wasn't because I've got anything against the religion, it's just because.. I've already known everything I need to know about Christianity. =)

Frankly speaking, I'm not personally bound to any specific religion. I'm called a Hindu because I was born a Hindu and most certainly raised as one. Well, back in the good old days, I was a very pious and god-fearing child. My basic understanding of the religion was mostly gained through my parents guidance and sometimes, Tamil movies which involves god triumphing over the evil is the most gruesome way possible ( I guess the idea was to show that if you do bad, you die bad and ugly). As I grew older and a lil more mature, I begin to look/understand Hinduism in a more different perspective. I noticed it has multiple versions of the same religion. I guess it has been around for a very long time, long enough for it to have different version of it. One corner you have people worshipping Lord Krshna as the supreme Godhead while in another corner you have people worshipping Lord Shiva as the super soul or supreme god. Honestly, I really don't know who is who or what is what. There was one time, I really liked Lord Shiva. He seem to be very calm and at peace all the time and all of the mythology/history that accompanies Him sounds very interesting.

Then, during a visit to India, there was this Krshna temple in Bangalore called the ISKCON Temple. International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Frankly speaking, I've never seen a Hindu temple so clean, so beautiful and so peaceful anywhere before in my life! Lord Krshna looked so... beautiful and amazing at the same time.

They had this book where they sold in the temple which talked about Krshna and his philosophies. Most, in not all of the philosophies seems to be relateable to life. Well, my life. So, Lord Krshna became another god of choice. Each time I can relate myself to a certain god through His/Her myths or stories, I find that god appealing. In a way, I suppose that's how religion works. You stick to one religion where you can relate to or at least find peace in to help you move on with life. You just place your life's burden onto god and move one hoping for the best while you find extra courage to fix you problem. I guess that's what god is all about. But some people just don't get it and gets carried away and become fanatics. Well, I guess they just believe too much and you always can't blame them. We don't know what they have been through.

Then, what about spiritual enlightenment you may ask. That is beyond my understanding. One thing I've been coming across in Hindu myths is that each and everyone of us are somehow related to god. You know like how in the Bible its said that god made man in his own image? I guess if that's true, our ultimate goal is to find the god within and achieve spiritual enlightenment which is to be one with God. Then again, like I said. My understanding of spiritual enlightenment is beyond me. There are things and events in life you just can't explain. One of those things are god. It will always be a debated, sensitive and universal subject for all to try understand. It may look complicated but look beyond the complex and multiple version of religions out there, and you'll only see one thing. God is one and everywhere.  

Class time past

Sometimes but not always, when the class gets boring, my imagination runs wild. So wild that I start drawing comics and stuff on my notes. All this just to keep myself awake in class. Being tall in the class is a terrible disadvantage since you can't freaking sleep or hide. *sigh*

Bought the notebook to jot down notes but instead its filled with drawings..

Blog to Journal

Was cleaning the book rack the other day when I bumped into a lost treasure. My old brand new journal. I think I bought it like ages ago but miss placed it somehow (well knowing me, that's what I usually do) and I'm thinking that it would be a good time to start writing a journal or something since that was the plan many years back. Besides, my handwriting has gone beyond the point of recognisable handwriting. So, this journal would be doing me two favours. One, repair my already damaged handwriting so the examiners wouldn't crack their head trying to figure out whether I've written in English or Swahili. Two, try keeping me offline. Well not really, but at least something to keep me doing stuff old school.

Well that's about it. So maybe, just maybe, I'll might put up some snapshots of the journal once I get started with it. And some occasional drop by over here. After all, first blog dies hard. Or was it first love? 

Change

I need to change. Fin.

Bad timing?

Is it a bad timing to reconsider what I'm doing with my life now? I'm in second year of my degree course but I just don't feel like I belong there. It's like I don't like what I'm doing. In matter of fact, I don't know what I want to do. Too many changes have just made my mind too confused till it doesn't know what it wants. Well, I know it's kinda too late and expensive to change my mind now but it's just taking its toll on me now. I feel like some kind of ticking time bomb ready to explode. The only thing is, I'm afraid it's gonna be ugly. Too many stuffs in my head. Too difficult to let it out. *sigh*

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How would you define a person as good or bad?

Here a scenario. There's this guy... let's call him Alex. Alex knows a guy named David who is philanthropist, does charities, build schools and hospitals and sounds and moves like Mr nice guy. One day, he finds out that this David is actually a hardcore criminal. You know the type that smuggles drugs and alcohols and sells arms to third world countries and does all the nasty stuff known and unknown to a common man. So, how would should Alex define David? Good guy or bad guy?

Here's scenario number two. There's another guy name Bob. He's a member of David organisation. He does all the dirty stuff for David and know him as a ruthless boss. Then, one day he stumble upon David's charities and all the good stuff he does and hears the people telling that David is all good and nice. So, how should Bob define David? Bad or good?

If we know a person for his wrong doing, let's say... we are in Bob's shoes, we might interpret that David is trying to balance off the bad stuff by doing the good stuff. So, Bob might define him as the bad guy with a soft spot but Alex might defines him as the good guy with a dark secret.

So, does the first impression defines the person? Or do we define a person based on what we think we know about the person?

Anyway, is it fair to judge a person for what he does or for what he is? I'm might be a bad guy but I do what good guys do. So am I good or bad? =/

Thieves get richer, Saints get shot. Be a hypocrite.

There's one thing in life that one must understand and that is one can never be nice to everyone. The world doesn't work that way. In fact, you can never be nice to everyone even if you try to. They wouldn't let you. Think about it. Could you think of anyone who has been nice to everyone? When I meant everyone, I really meant.. Ev-ery-one. Right. You can't. Because there aren't any and even if there is any, people just don't like them. They don't acknowledge such people. Everyone loves Gandhi for the actions he took to bring independence to India. But eventually he was assassinated. Why? He was trying to be nice to everyone. Trying to make all parties happy. Unfortunately, he couldn't. Made some enemies there and here aaand they he shot him. 

Having born and growing up as in Hindu, I was exposed to all type of Hindu epics. You know, the usual Ramayana and other tales. And you know one thing, even the gods aren't nice to everyone. They are only nice to those who worships them or respect them or at least to those who are nice to others all while being dictated by dharma (righteous). Thinking of it, if god were nice to those who worships them, then Ravan wouldn't have gotten killed for he is a lifelong devotee of Lord Shiva. But he was killed because he failed to go by the books or in this case, dharma. So being nice to god but not to others wouldn't safe you from a war and painful death. Same thing goes on in Mahabaratha, another Hindu mythology. All comes to one conclusion. If gods aren't nice to everyone, why should I, a mere mortal be? Simple. I don't. In Christianity, it says that god created man in his own image. So, why shouldn't we do what god would do? Be good to those who are good to you only if they go by the books. But then again, to the believers, Ramayana and Mahabaratha is a great epic mythology. For the non-believers, it's just another fairytale story. It's not about what is written. It's about the message in it.

Lets put it this way. If you're good to the good guys, the good guys would love you and maybe some of the bad guys might hate you. If you're good to the bad guys, the bad guys would love you and sure enough the good guys would ignore you and some if not most of the bad guys would hate you. After all, they are the bad guys. Who you are counts but what you do that matters. 

Think about it. We evolved into what we are today from a primate. We are build to adapt.
So adapt.
Live as a hypocrite. Die as a saint.
If not a saint, let it be a human.

Deep deep inside

I always had this thing for photography and driving but never had the chance to actually pursue the latter. Yeah I've been driving around a lot but the feel is not the same. I'm talking about road trips. Miles and miles of road trip. With that, a couple of photographies to accompany the road trip. First, I need to get a good set of camera. Not something fancy but yeah, something affordable yet practical. Next, a car vehicle. I'm having the right thing in mind. Volkswagen Camper. Been driving a '69 Beetle around for some time. Fell in love with Volkswagen ever since. =P

Volkswagen Camper

'69 Volkswagen Beetle

Now, I'm tied down with pursuing a degree. So all plans for a long distance road trip is put on hold. =/ Sad case. A very severe case of sadness. Oh well, I'll just have to finish the degree and get a job. Just to save some money to get that Camper ready. And then, I'm off to the road trip. A road trip I always dream of going on with. From Kuala Lumpur to Chennai. 6,449 km of road trip. That got to be fun! =D

6,449 km of pure awesomeness! 

Well, let's hope for the best! Good day all.

Summer Break

Summer break. That's what the UK guys gave us students here in Malaysia before we move on to the second year. I guess they forgot that it's summer here all year round. Oh well, four months of summer break is quite fun and boring in the same time. One month just flew by with me doing nothing but driving up and down the peninsular. Fun but tiring. And I'm still broke as hell. Not a single cent in the my hand. Or pocket. Well, not literally. Need to find a job. Got a few in my mind. The money is kinda good. 10 bucks an hour. Big money. Besides, I got two and an half years experience on that field. Sales. Not just any type of sales, it's kitchen sales! They even have an opening for kitchen planners and they would be thrilled to know that I'm from IKEA. =D
But the hours would be crappy. Pro's and con's. The other job would be in Maxis. I heard the pay is good too and the working hours is awesome. Office hours. =D But that would be a three month thing. No weekend jobs. No weekday study, weekend work stunts. So, I'll need to find a second job for that. Again, pro's and con's. So I got only this weekend to make up my mind. Aino Living or Maxis. I might as well just join the former. Or what if I join them both? Maxis on the weekdays and Aino on the weekends?? Nah! I'm just being too greedy. But that again.. YOLO! =P

What a summer break this is! =/

3 - Go you go...

Watched the movie a couple of weeks back. Bloody depressing. Storyline was awesome but still it's was depressing. Not just any depressing. It was bloody depressing! It was so depressing my movie company was actually crying in the theatre. So I had to cover macho la! =D

Dhanush acting was freaking great! *speechless* Shruti Hassan... Layaaan je muka cantik kulit putih. =P

Got this one song stuck in the head. Lyrics was nice. Actually was kinda awesome. But I prefer the remix version of the song. First time, I'm hearing a heavy metal being used in tamil song with actually turned out great!

The background music is mind blowing! Layaaan...

My bad

I shouldn't have asked. I shouldn't have said. I shouldn't have put you in a difficult space. I should have take it and go the first time you said it. Now, I just made it bad for you and for me, and everything else. Things would get better as time goes by. But this would forever stay in our mind, very much alive. I'm sorry and apologise for what I said. Never that I thought, I would be so inconsiderate. My bad. my bad, it's obviously my bad. I should have stop ahead with the time I had. Never mind you said but I know you're offended inside. I'll make it to you, I promise. You know I will one day. =)

I

I was,
A jockey with no horse,
A lion with no mane,
A fighter with no cause,
The man with no aim.

I am,
A giant with no might,
A gladiator with no glory,
A sun with no light,
The man with no sorry.

I will be,
A king with no knight,
A hunter with no cage,
A day with no night,
The man with no rage.

Anonymous

It's easy to give opinions or say things or just be childish behind a mask. A mask called 'Anonymous'. If you got something to say, just say it out. But not behind a mask. Compliment or degrading comments let it be said without someone being an anonymous. It's more frustrating than the comment itself. It's not like I'm gonna hunt you down and make you pay for saying all those degrading childish stuffs. It's just I wanna know who I unintentionally offended. But then again, it seems that your comments don't make sense at all. Nothing! Copycat?  Annoying? Hurtful? Man! Since when did I been hurtful and annoying to others? Well, if I ever did, then sorry. It was unintentional. =/
Copycat?? The only thing I copy is my assignments and lab reports. And that too have to be altered to avoid plagiarism. So, technically I don't copy. I 'refer'. So, at what point was I a copycat? Please get the facts right or at least check where are you posting you comments. I guess it's just a case of mistaken identity or blog. So all is forgiven and forgotten.

p.s: the next time you wanna post a comment, try doing it without being an anonymous. thanks.

All good things must come to an end

Like I said before, all good things must come to an end. And so does my employment in IKEA. Just handed in all my stuffs to the HR department. Feels kinda odd. I know it's just a part time job but yet it feels very odd. A feeling like no other that can't be explained. After all, I've been a 'loyal' employee for the past 2 1/1 years. The co-worker are more like a family to me. =/

Oh well. I'll live. Besides, I left in style which means I'm always welcome back to the family. =D
I might return back. It's been a great experience working there. Met famous peoples, funny people, odd people, all type of people. I actually got a chance to understand different people's personalities. All this by just planning a kitchen for them. =)

Very well then, now I got a different mission to carry out. A mission to find a different employment for I need money for my pocket and utility bills. Utility bills as in car monthly payment and fuel. The hunt for job begins now.

In the class feeling bored, waiting for next class. Got the last examination marks, some of it. Nothing to be proud nor ashamed of. Did quite well, so far. Now I got a new thing to change. My phone. Keep dying on me. I guess it just reached it retirement age. =/
Just realized something. Whenever I have something important to do which involved spending money, I'm always out of money. This time is no different. I'm totally out of money. Reason? I recent streak of absences from employment. Thus, no pay. Don't ask me why cause I wouldn't be able to answer. Now, I'll need to find a new job. Not because they fired me or something because... I don't want to give the burden or pleasure of doing so. =P
A man leaves when the times come. And when he leaves, he leaves in style. =)
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

The next dilemma would be finding a new employment closer to home. And if possible, something different. So let's hope for the best. =)

Back from a long bed rest in the hospital. That was like three weeks ago. Many stuffs happened since then. Bought a new car. Suzuki Alto. Just a small, simple car. Looks tiny when I stand next to it but it's pretty spacious. Pretty easy to maintain. Took me no time to clean the whole car. =)
Pictures down...

Anyway, I've got so many stuffs in mind but I just couldn't find the words to put down. Too much stress I suppose. Need to de-stress myself. =/

Will eventually write something in the near future... Hope so.